Video by Thomas Flight
An interesting watch for sure. It got me thinking why we’re ambitious in the first place. If I was to think of my own ambition or dreams, where do they come from?
I guess when I ask myself this question I approach it from two standpoints. One standpoint being based in reality, e.g. being financially secure, wanting to aquire possessions, feeling proud of what I do. The other is a spiritual standpoint. I suppose this standpoint would dive deeper into the meaning of why any of us are here in the first place.
Why bother in the first place?
For me, personally, I feel like I dont have a choice. I have worked many dead end jobs in my life and i’ve always felt like im capable of more. Maybe thats my ego talking.
Speaking of the ego, it seems this day and age the ego is always referred to negatively. I understand that having too much of an ego or becoming a “narcissist” is not a good thing. However the ego must serve some sort of function, or we wouldnt have one. I think most animals are inherently egotisitical. why does the lion get too decide that it’s life is more important than the zebra, egostistical prick.
Anyway to get back on track. Working a dead end job with no career prospects or ability to climb up the ladder has never worked for me. In fact when people asked what I do and I tell them, I’ve even felt a sense of shame.
It took me until the ripe age of 28 that I either knuckle down and start to learn a skill and offer some sort of value to society, or I get used to packing boxes and shut up and get on with it.
This is when I started to learn web development. I can tell you the journey is still on going, and so far its returned me a large student loan and several job applications that have gone unanswered. However, this is where my drive comes from. I have to achieve, failure at this point means I’ll be working a dead end job in a warehouse for a measly 25$ an hour for the rest of my life. This fear alone is enough to get me motivated.
A spiritual perspective
It’s no new thing that humans have been asking the same question since the day we came out of the trees. “why are we here”? Well we all answer this question differently. For me, I have always felt like I was here to fulfil some kind of task.
I can tell you I was one of the most undisciplined people you would have ever met. Over the last couple of years I have adopted a new mindset, one where I need to be more of a producer and less of a consumer. I’m not here to blow my own trumpet, this is still a work in progress. I can tell you I have spent countless hours absent mindedly bingeing HealthyGamerGG on youtube and fishing on old school runescape and it hasnt gotten me very far.
I guess at some point I looked at life and I thought, fine, even if nothing comes of it, even if i’m never successful, even if this blog never gets a single eye on it, even if what I produce is absolute dog shit, at least I can leave this earth knowing I at least left something behind. I don’t believe life is all about taking. I think if you’re going to take that’s fine, but you also have to give. Whether what you give is worth any value, I dont think that matters, as long as you give something.
Anyway, just a few thoughts from me.